To you in this very stable and safe lifestyle that every one of us lives—you, who are fortunate enough to have this computer that sits in a house that stands in a peaceful community, with food, bedding, and family—all we have is our mind to struggle against. When we don't have to worry about what we're going to eat, how we'll hunt for it, where we are going to sleep, and who we’ll kill for it, our natural instincts are to engulf ourselves in the next best conflict, whether we have to create the issue or not. What I'm getting at is that all of the inconsequential things that make us stressed out, disappointed, and miserable, are entirely inessential to us living our lives.
There are a couple of things to say about the events in the past week that led up to the news I received today. For one, it definitely does some justice to the spiritual theories that float in my head with no significant weight, whether that is a God or a humble omen. But ultimately, I've used these past events to cope with the recent bad news.
Isn't it ironic how people come to you for advice, to vent, or to help make things clear when you yourself are well off the path you've always wished you would be walking? But you've had enough experience in your life with the way things work that when that pessimistic someone comes to you in tears, you know the answer, and you tell them that everything will be fine. You assess their traumatic conflict and realize for them, this will all pass. And just like how you've moved on from your last relationship, or you've thrown away that unaffordable car you crashed, or you've forgotten about the quarrel you and a friend were in last year, you reassure them that these are just learning experiences and soon you'll be at your 100%, living an amazing life, unchanged by this struggle.
Then it hits you. And the one thing you've struggled for all these years has lost its appeal—fortunately for me, this timely epiphany hit me right when I thought I’d lost it all. And you take a step back and weigh your choices: I can start back from zero or I can give this up. And you make that decision. And you either jump back into the circular lifestyle of self-created, insubstantial monotony… or you grow.
You sleepwalk, forget where your money went, look around the room, scanning over the myriad of material items you’ve struggled to afford, and turn to the mirror and wish you had this, that, and more… or you wake up.
